If you’re married to an Italian, whether the two of you live in Italy or elsewhere, chances are you will soon be starting a family, if you haven’t already.  In a culture where family is paramount, child-raising can seem a daunting task, especially if you don’t have any set ideas of your own.  While any cross-cultural family will have its own unique ways of handling things, here are five secrets to the Italian attitude towards children and family that will ensure smooth sailing with your spouse into your golden years.

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  1. Treat Children Like a Crucial Part of the Family.  A unique aspect of Italian child-raising which you don’t see in other cultures is the lack of a wall between generations.  Children are not treated with the “should be seen and not heard” mindset, nor are they firmly disciplined as in many other cultures.  Rather, they are indulged, celebrated, engaged with, and invited out to family gatherings along with parents, older siblings, and grandparents.  This leads to children growing up easy and comfortable with themselves and each other.
  2. Prioritize Children.  For better or for worse—some view this as spoiling, while others view it as giving your kids every advantage possible—Italian parenting advocates sacrificing your own wants for your children’s wants.  This can include material things, such as gifts, vacations, and special activities, as well as spending time with your children over spending time with your adult friends.  There is a fine line here, of course, between showering your children with affection and raising them to be self-entitled, so make sure you know where that line is!
  3. Dinnertime is Golden.  As you probably already know, family dinners in an Italian family are where the magic happens.  Good food and good conversation are key to family life, so you can expect at least an hour to be set aside every evening for a sit-down family meal.  Traditionally, the matriarch is expected to do the bulk of the cooking, but any Italian man worth his salt should know a few good pasta dishes, making dinnertimes a dual enterprise.viejos-hombres-italianos_21006901
  4. Conversation Is Key.  Plenty of people grow up in more taciturn cultures, where silence and alone time are considered perfectly viable aspects of a healthy family.  This is unthinkable to an Italian, as Italian families love to talk and argue and get all up in each other’s business.  So if you’re the sort of person who enjoys introspection and quietly reveling in your own private sphere, be assured that your spouse will have a thing or two or ten to say about that.
  5. Children Should Be Raised Bilingual.  No matter what country you’re raising your children in, there is absolutely no excuse for denying them the advantage of an early start at bilingualism, especially since a working knowledge of Italian will help them communicate with extended family.  While there are many strategies for raising bilingual children, it would be best for you to learn Italian as well to ease the process along.  Send us an enquiry, or take a look at our different levels of Italian courses to see which one can best get you started.